Grandad Thoughts

Connection through the Veil

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Your Thoughts Matter. 

There is an electric summoning of energies behind your wildest thoughts. 

When you think of someone you hold them in your gaze, like they are with you.

If they have passed, they are here with you talking to your bones. 

Going into surgery I hold the faces of my grandparents with me, to bless me and look after me. 

I know they are watching and conducting my way in times of turmoil and struggle. 

I think of Grandad, and when I do my broken ankle has a sting of feeling, a sharp point sensation, right when I think of the name “Grandad”. He is talking to me through these sensations in my body. Letting me know that he is with me. 

Through photographs, people are remembered and they stay alive. There is a collage of my parents’ wedding. Grandad is there. I see his face in the collage and I have a conversation with him in my mind. I hear his voice.

When Grandad passed in 2009, my dad called me and I didn’t have anything to say, speechless, no tears. We flew out to his memorial in Pennsylvania and in his will he asked me to read an original poem. My dad was scheduled to speak last in the memorial, but then switched the order and said he wanted me to go last. My dad is not a writer. His speech was impromptu. A lifetime of emotion for his father, sometimes who he disagreed with. 

The first time I met Grandad I was a baby. There is a picture of us meeting, we are reaching for each other, hands out, big-faced smile. We had an instant affection for one another.

I miss Grandad. 

When I had that thought in the TV Room, I am sitting with my sitting with my father, I started to cry. I’m crying writing this.

Years after his passing I’m realizing what Grandad meant to me.

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