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Right now I’m house-sitting for “cousin” Mario’s parents, Beryl and Anthony, who are away. Mario and I are the second generation of our family's friendship. His parents are artists and live in San Francisco’s Bernal Heights. Exploring The City I often run into people I grew up with, it’s that small. Mario lives a mile away from his childhood home. I send him photos of his childhood.
Beryl and Anthony had me over for brunch before I started house-sit for them. Sitting with them in their kitchen, eating omelets and fruit salad, was a blanket of calm—the feeling of being with a family that had known me from the beginning of my story. A recognition of history and familiarity. Mario’s mom is like mine, in that she likes to roast her only son! None of that material will be reprinted here. Except for that one time, he was so “nonchalant” about barely finishing college.
Their house is a “Museum of Mario.” Sitting there with them, I recalled being a small kid and playing with Mario in the guest room. My mom and I had been at Mario’s housewarming party for his new place. Such gatherings are always multigenerational, and each age group has someone to talk to. This communal feeling only happens to me here in The Bay. I’m included.
So far, 2024 has been full of transformative reflection, I’ve spent the first part of the year with my parents, because of my fractured ankle, and now I’ve graduated to Other People's Parents (OPP), those who are extended family.
Mario has been a guy who’s been there for me through thick and thin. He wasn’t mad when I would ring him up at 6:00 am because I had been out all night. He’s hosted me when I didn’t have a home and made sure I was safe when I was at my most unpredictable and vulnerable. He’s a guy who has my best interest at heart, and that is a lovely sentiment to know in this very transient world.
Mario is also a party guy. He always knows what music and festivals are playing, and he knows a ton of artists. I can call him on short notice for lunch, dinner, or a rendezvous at a music venue of his choice. It’s part of our ongoing dialogue to make fun of ourselves as unattached men-about-town. He’s also my thought partner in many ways. We have an unofficial list of products, pitches, and names of shows that don’t exist yet. Do you do this with your friends?
I can count on one hand the people I can call if I‘m in an emergency. Folks that could take me to the ER, or make sure I’m fed. This ankle injury has made me realize what incredible support I have here, and how rare that is.
I cherish My Folks and find I’m more open to more communal/family connections and relationships these days.
We are all struggling with the realities of how to live and work in this world. Getting a solid dose of family this first quarter of 2024 has brought on many reflections about my time growing up. I’ve become more aware of the irreplaceable value of family and community. When I’m with my friends who have families, they roll in with kids and dogs. It’s like a carnival coming home. These families are traveling restaurants, among other things, and have all the activity I crave, with none of the solitude I get to enjoy. They provide snacks for all of the Uncle Scraglers. I’m an honorary uncle, but when the fruit snacks come out, I become one of the kids.
In regards to solitude, it’s an adjustment to come back to and take stock of my life as a solo creator. I’ve been in dream mode, up on clouds approaching cumulous. I’m a guy who lives alone, works alone and spends a good deal of time by himself—like most artists. Solitude is where the imagination has time to open up for one’s creativity. But artists also need each other to find their own way to balance both sides of themselves. For me, I drop on the families I know by making House Calls. Then I get back to what I was born for and love doing most: creating art and sharing moments.
“I don’t want to spend time, I want to share time.”
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(this sketch is by Moms, Gail Schatz, who can do one of your loved one: schatz874@gmail.com) Dropping my mom’s email shows you just how close we are. I can guarantee she’s not a robot.
Another captivating piece, Joshua!