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(Press Play for the Audio version/Pic: Miriam’s Garden. Flower Collage)
A five-year-old just asked me, “What do I do when I get sad?” Right away I turned into a corny adult who is supposed to have all the answers. My response was something like, “You just have to push through the sad moments, until you’re back to the glad moments.”
That’s all I could give for impromptu advice, but over the years since then, I’ve written a great deal during periods of feeling extremely low and at the end of my rope. Deep purgings.
Today such dark descents are not the case, and I’m able to look back with some moments of gratitude and perspective for my life on a whole. Nevertheless, I had years of sleeping through life, not wanting to wake up from the nightmare of my inner torture. When you're lost in the void, struggling for basic functionality. Perspective is one of the key elements that’s often missing.
There was a guy from my support group, he was older, named Jay. Whenever anyone asked him, “How are you doing?,” he’d invariably answer, “Ups and downs.” And isn't that way it is? Ups and downs for all of us in this life.
Here are a couple of suggestions for upping the mood when it goes down:
First, it's important to remember the 3 M's: Movement, Music, and Meditation.
To begin with, become aware that you have a body and you are going to intentionally be still—or intentionally move. Focus on how you are inside this flesh and bone creation, and how your whole life experience is through this body of yours. Sensory check of all your body parts and what you are feeling. Naming, acknowledging all that inwardly happens or functions is a known tool for transformation, though transformation takes some time—time and practice.
Just getting up and changing your posture is huge. Also try changing your intake of sound, light, people, and location. Even though we’re creatures of routine, a new person, place, or thing can give us a moment of heightened realization, sensation, and even peak experience.
You have other parts of your brain, ready and willing to activate with a new skill or interest. Our potential is limitless.
Oxygenate your brain—get outside to walk or run. Or try rapid breathwork—you can find professional instructional videos online. Take in the good, healing, energizing air through the nostrils and let out your sadness or self-loathing.
In my lowest moments, I also have deployed these three wise reminders:
1. We are all living at the same TIME. The moments that connect every living thing unify us in this cosmic order. One Time for your cosmic Mind.
2. Remember that we're all going to die. So what's the rush?
3. Be in service. Find a purpose that is bigger than yourself, a mission to serve that is bigger than just you. Step outside of yourself and look at what purpose is connecting you to others; for example, religion, politics, family, culture, education, health, the environment, or the arts.
It’s new for me to write a straight-out advice piece, or a post not based on a personal narrative. But in the moments where I was seeking answers to escape the darkness, I wanted some practical suggestions, mostly those things I already knew, but had either forgotten or needed the will to activate.
There are plenty of helpful mantras that I also regularly use, like the Hebrew Gom Say Avore…This Too Shall Pass. Or my own, Play through the pain, singing through those hard moments, examining what we have to live for, focusing on what there is to look forward to.
I can spin the positive all day, but I also know that I have walked through the valley of the shadow of death, and in looking at my life, I see there is everything left…so much to look forward to.
It’s beautiful, get out there! Reach out for a personal one-on-one.
The struggle is real and the hustle continues.
One Time for Your Shine.
J-dubs
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What to do for Sadness